Shocking…

Watch this: http://www.controlarms.org/teleshop/

Hospital’s and blood stained tissues

I had the opportunity to visit the A+E department of the Royal Lancaster Hospital (RLI) today. Don't let that worry you too much, all the kids are fine, and are being looked after by Justine and Doug at the moment. It was Louise that was suffering with an infection or something round her eyes. She is much better now and is upstairs dozing after a bad nights sleep. Every experience I have had of the RLI has been good, I have visited more times than I can count and the cleanliness practices and staff are, on the whole, very helpful. A+E was a different matter. The staff were ok but the cleanliness was poor. There were some blood stained tissue and empty dressing packs all round the cubicle that Louise was treated in. I was busy getting myself a little steamed up about it (you know what hospitals are like, you don't have much to do but get worked up) and then I remembered something that helped me get a little bit of perspective. Millions of people world wide don't have access to clean water, let alone a clean hospital. Here was I sitting in a hospital, with family up the road looking after my kids while my wife was treated within two hours of arriving at the hospital. It is easy for us to complain about hospitals, and yes, in some cases we probably should. It is much harder to remember that we are far better off than many, many people. Sure I was worried about Louise, and I don't like the sight of blood, that aside, things are still good for us in the uk. Interesting information about clean water can be found here: http://www.wateraid.org/uk/what_we_do/the_need/ Interesting information about what the BMS (Baptist Missionaries) do to promote and support healthcare abroad: http://www.bmsworldmission.org/section.asp?id=161

Norman Kember Arrives Home.

The media has been full of Norman's release from captivity and the armed forces role in it. Today he gave a statement part of which read:

"I do not believe that a lasting peace is achieved by armed force, but I pay tribute to their courage and thank those who played a part in my release.

I thought the media crticism of Norman was a touch harsh. You can read the whole thing here: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-2103663,00.html

The power of lifes “norms”

The other day Alice came home from nursery with a box containing two or three books and a few other bits and pieces. It was tea time and Louise and I were rushing round trying to get tea ready and feed Elizabeth. Alice waved some stickers under our noses "What are these for?". We explained that they were "this book belongs to" stickers and that she could write her name on and stick them in the book. The thought of having books that were both her own and clearly identifiable was appealing to Al and she began to peel a sticker off and stick it to the front of a book. I glimpsed her out of the corner of my eye and shouted "no, stop!". It was too late the sticker was right on the front of the book, half concealing the books title. We peeled the sticker off and managed to put it inside the book and there was no harm done. It got me thinking. It might seem obvious that your name goes on the outside of the book where everyone can see it. We all know of course that names should go on the inside of a book, because its neater and that is where everyone puts them. I wonder how much we do because we are simply conditioned to do it in a certain way. Perhaps there is a more obvious, perfectly logical, way of doing it that we simply don't notice because we are in a cultural habit.

A Week of Story Telling

This week has involved lots talking and listening: On Monday I visited an experienced minister so that I could tell him my story of the last couple of weeks. He listened carefully to me and helped me reflect on my own journey through my personal and professional life. The same evening a group of 8 people 6 of whom had started coming to the church (on Stanley Road in Morecambe) in the last few months.  Each person shared their journey in faith which was fascinating.  Every person had a different story to tell and a different account of how their life and faith has grown and developed. The next day I met with three different groups of people.  With one group I talked about the life and story of Win Prior who's funeral I shall conduct later today.  I heard the story of her patient nature and unwavering faith through times in life when many of us may have given up on our own faith.  With another we talked about the Story of Jesus and the impact reading the Gospel of Mark has had on us.  With another we just talked about the stories of our own life and what it is like to live in Morecambe. I love hearing and sharing the stories of life and faith.  The things that have influenced us and helped us fascinate me.

Rare moments of clarity

I some times have moments where I can see right into a problem and see a way out. It is usually at the most inconvenient of times. Like when I am in the car. I should carry a voice memo thing so that I can talk to myself about them, because usually by the time I get to somewhere where I can write notes about it I have forgotten it and it takes some time to recall it. This morning I woke at 2:12 am with a clear solution to a number of problems running through my mind. So I got up and started jotting. I suspect I will be very tired in the morning because it took me ages to get to sleep last night, I had some kind of bug where I was shivering one moment and sweating the next. It was long after 11:30 when I went to sleep (late for me). I still have a pounding headache despite having taken some tablets as soon as I got up. Perhaps now I have done my jotting I should go back to bed... but now my mind is racing.

More on Debt and Credit.

I was thinking about debt the other day here: http://graham.doel.org/index.php/2005/08/05/debt-and-credit/

When you are in unmanageable debt the shame and the feeling of helplessness that it creates often leads to denial. You think that you can manage the debt, and some people do manage to swing from consolidation loan to consolidation loan, using their assets as security. Emmerdale captured the sense of helplessness well when Lesley couldn't bring herself to tell her son Simon how bad it was until it was to late. Simon in turn got hooked into the feeling of shame and couldn't bring himself to tell his finance (Nicola). When I was in debt I learned that to get out of the trap there were several things I had to do:

• Admit to myself I was in trouble.
• Admit to the people I owed money I was in trouble.
• Negotiate with my creditors a solution.
• Work hard.

Things I remember:

• I remember the depressing feeling of never being able to get my balance in the black.
• I remember the joy the first time my wages paid off my overdraft.
  
• I remember the feeling of hope that came as I saw my overdraft get smaller and smaller.
  
• I remember the elation of being in the black month by month.
  

When I was consistently in the black the feeling of liberation and control over my own life was fantastic.

Debt and Credit.

I had Emmerdale on in the background yesterday evening as I replied to some of my e-mails. It seems that Simon's mother (Lesley) has got their business into a right mess and they are on the verge of financial ruin. It got me thinking about the lure of debt and how it traps people in a downward cycle. I have experienced the power of debt and the feelings of hopelessness that it causes. When I worked for a fast food company I contracted salmonella (from an undercooked piece of chicken I ate in a new store in Birmingham while helping them out with their opening). That led to months of sick and living on SSP. Even though I was prudent during that time I ended up with an overdraft in excess of one months income. These are some of the things I noticed about debt:

• It creates a feeling of helplessness.
  You can't see a resolution to your problem and so you lack motivation to get out.
• It serves its self.
  Once you are in the trap it becomes increasingly difficult to get out because the charges mount and left on it's own it increases, getting bigger and bigger until you can't manage it.
• It creates promise.
  Debt sustains its self by promising you that it is manageable. It tells you that you can have what you want now instead of waiting for it. The promise is to provide you with what you want but the reality is that the debt creates a profit, not for you, but for someone else.
  

Aside: If you are reading this because you are in debt there are ways out. Credit Action exists to help people get out of debt. They have really helpful advice on their website: www.creditaction.org.uk

Stress

I have been thinking a little about stress lately. Mainly what makes people stressed and how can we cope with it. I have a fair idea what makes me stressed (grin), I am vey interested in how I can deal with it.

Recently the samaritains commissioned a survey which found some of the following stuff.

• 20% get stressed on a daily basis (one in five) - i.e. most of the time.
• 23% are stressed more than once a week (over one third of the UK), but not every day.
• The majority of the population (62%) is stressed out at least once a month or more.
• Men and women suffer from roughly the same levels of stress, regardless of how much stress they suffer from - none, some, a lot.

 Link: http://www.samaritans.org/know/samsweek2003/questionnaire_results_popup.shtm

Blogging and guilt.

I have two friends who love to apologise when they don't blog for a while. I find it fascinating that they feel the need to apologise. I commented after one of Matt's frequent apologies that you blog because you can, not because you must. However, recently Matt posted that although he knew he didn't need to apologise he still felt guilty. Guilt is a funny emotion, people hide from it, rationalise it and feel crippled by it. Sometimes we feel guilty because its a built in reaction, there may be no reason to feel guilty but we can't help ourselves. Of course sometimes we have done something wrong, and the guilt is there to prompt us into action. The best way to deal with that kind of guilt is to apologise or put right what you have done and move on. There is no doubt that that is a hard thing to do sometimes but I think it is better to risk looking stupid than to live with guilt. When the guilt is there when we have not done anything wrong then we need to ask ourselves why the guilt is there. Take not blogging as an example. We may feel guilty because we are aware that there is an audience that read our musings and we feel like we are letting them down. The reality is that the audience don't rely on our blog postings they just enjoy reading, our lack of blogging does not actually affect them much (only they might wonder how we are). The guilt is perceived rather than actual. A guy called Paul said that we should take captive every thought and make it obedient to God's purpose. When we feel guilty for no reason, that is exactly what we need to do. It is not God's purpose for us to be crippled by guilt. I think that if we spend allot of time feeling guilty we probably need to evaluate it. If we do this whenever we feel guilty then we will start to be transformed by thinking right about ourselves and acting right towards other people.